Small-town charm. Big-government energy.
Come for the views.
Stay to help fund the next solution.
A taxpayer’s-eye view of the California dream.
The opinions are pointed. The sources are linked.
ON THE RECORDUkiah’s FY 2025–26 budget lists Measure P and Measure Y at 0.5% each. Council allocates them to public safety and streets, respectively. [3]
Government discovered subscription pricing before Netflix. Except the “cancel membership” button is a moving truck.
SATIRE / THE TAXPAYER IS THE RECURRING REVENUE.ON THE RECORDFor the quarter-ended Dec. 31, 2025 report, the city listed General Fund revenue of $10.5 million and spending of $11.9 million. [4]
When your household spends more than it brings in, you cut back. Government gives the spreadsheet a reassuring title.
SATIRE / TRY “QUANTITATIVE OPTIMISM.”ON THE RECORDCalifornia’s April 2024 audit found insufficient outcome data to assess three of five homelessness programs reviewed; two appeared cost-effective. Statewide finding, not an audit of Ukiah. [5]
Sacramento can find your unpaid registration fee with military precision. Measuring whether a program worked? Suddenly everyone needs another study.
SATIRE / ACCOUNTABILITY SOLD SEPARATELY.ON THE RECORDUkiah’s median household income: $66,160. California’s: $99,122. Same 2020–24 Census period, in 2024 dollars. [1–2]
You get the California label with about two-thirds of the California household income. Apparently the rest is paid in scenic appreciation.
SATIRE / THE SUNSET DOES NOT ACCEPT AUTOPAY.The conservative fantasy is a government so small you barely notice it. The Ukiah fantasy is a Friday night interesting enough that you forget it exists. Either way, we’re still waiting.
SATIRE / MOTION TO ADJOURN TO SOMEWHERE FUN.ON THE RECORDCensus estimates put Ukiah’s population change at −3.4% from the April 2020 estimates base to July 2025. [1]
At last, something in California got smaller without a ballot measure. We were hoping it would be government.
SATIRE / SMALLER TOWN. SAME SALES PITCH.Selected indicators that deserve tougher questions. These describe conditions; they do not prove a particular party or policy caused them.
California: 11.8%. Ukiah is 6.1 percentage points higher.
California: $99,122. About 33% lower.
California: 55.9%. A smaller share of occupied homes are owner-occupied.
California: −0.5%. April 2020 estimates base to July 2025 (V2025).
Sources: U.S. Census Bureau QuickFacts [1–2]. Income and housing: 2020–24 estimates. Poverty: QuickFacts reported estimate as retrieved; population: V2025 estimates. Survey estimates have sampling uncertainty. Income comparison is nominal, not adjusted for local living costs.
Ukiah also has lower median gross rent ($1,331 versus $2,036 statewide) and shorter average commutes (19.2 versus 28.7 minutes), using the same 2020–24 period. Lower incomes alone do not establish worse housing affordability.
The financial report is preliminary and unaudited. Its General Fund figures imply a roughly $1.4 million revenue/spending gap, not an annual deficit or proof of insolvency. The city cites capital outlays and administrative/internal-service costs; it also notes timing differences for reimbursements and infrastructure spending in the citywide shortfall.
The 2024 state audit identified an accountability failure, not proof that all homelessness spending was wasted. Two reviewed programs appeared cost-effective. Its findings are historical and statewide; they do not measure present-day homelessness in Ukiah.
The hills do look good. A slower pace can be nice. And sometimes knowing people is the whole point.
The scenery remains undefeated.
Fortunately, it doesn't need a subcommittee.
Keep the hills. Demand better results.
And for once, ask what the last solution cost.
Editorial lens: conservative, skeptical of taxes and bureaucracy. “Sucks” is an opinion, not a statistical ranking. Jokes are satire; factual claims carry sources.